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the time when i ran into him

So Frenchie's been and gone. Right now at 6:30pm I have this urge to make dinner, but I'm not actually hungry. I'm actually feeling bored and I miss him, so I will journal it out until I actually feel hungry enough to eat.

We had a great week! He was here for 10 days. Overall I feel so much more relaxed this time. I'm not so cagey about possibly running into family members anymore (not that we did). Yes yes, they still don't know about him - my parents are very conservative and I never talk about relationships with my siblings. My parents previously met Tom, many years ago, and that did NOT go well.

Anyway. Do you know who I ran into instead? This guy called Mark. I hate Mark. It's a funny story - read on if you wish. In the same year that I met Frenchie, I was going out on dates with this guy Mark right. He was an asshat because despite him being a loser (jobless, smokes, drinks, not exactly smooth or suave), he had the nerve to "text break-up" with me. It's a slightly long story, but safe to say, I was NOT romantically interested in him, even though I did like him enough to continue going out for drinks with him. So for him to be a loser, and then text me to say he wasn't developing feelings for me, and that we can remain friends if we want to? Fuck that. I blocked him and deleted him from everything.

So that was 2015.

One day in the week that Frenchie was here, we wanted to go hiking. We changed into our sports gear, we got our backpacks, I had NO MAKEUP ON, and I DID NOT SHOWER (because I was gonna shower after the hike). Except, there was a power outage, so I could not get my car out of the garage. We thought we would catch the bus instead, so we waited at the bus stop. Except, Frenchie is impatient, and when we found out it would take 40 minutes for a bus to arrive, not including all the transfers we have to make - he changed his mind and decided to go to the city instead.

But still in sports gear. I protested, but I didn't have a better plan.

So, with my nest-like hair, white sunscreened face, gaudy sports gear, and touristy backpack, we set off for the city. I actually had a really nice time - we walked in the Royal Botanical Gardens, we were in the best possible outfit for a long walk, and I clocked in 28,013 steps that day. Very good.

But not very good for running into SOMEONE I WANTED TO AVOID!

I was walking out of the tram stop, when I caught a glimpse of Mark in another tram. I'm sure he saw me too, except I immediately turned my head so he couldn't see me. Look, if I were with Frenchie at the time, it would have been the best royal FUCK-YOU of all time towards Mark. Except, Frenchie was several metres behind me because he was fussing about with his backpack. So I didn't know what to do. I kept walking, but with my head turned, and so I don't know what Mark saw. Anyway eventually Frenchie and I did catch up, and we walked together, but the tram had probably already left, I don't know.

So that was my 10 seconds of burning red cheeks. For no real good reason.

I'm not sure why it bothered me so much that day. I told Frenchie what happened, and told him the story, because I wanted to explain why I was feeling so moody. He was understanding, but I was being a total immature idiot.

I don't care about Mark. It was a fantasy of mine for a while to casually bump into him with Frenchie by my side as a way of saying "HA!" because Frenchie > Mark by 1000000000. I never did bump into him in the past few years. EXCEPT THAT ILL-FATED DAY! YET I WAS WITHOUT MY FRENCHIE! AND AND AND .. I LOOKED .. URGHHH!

So my ego was bruised in 2015, and I did not salvage it in 2017. Hhahahaha.

Sigh! Right, this post took a big detour. I didn't mean to get all annoyed about Mark. Next time I will write more about the nice things I did with Frenchie.


rest of january in review

It's February! *gasp* Argh, I've been meaning to update my LJ for the past couple of days, except I get distracted by all the other interesting things on the internet that by the time I get around to it, I'm too tired. Today I discovered What the Fuck, France, a totally hilarious series of videos about French culture. In perhaps a very typical French response, Frenchie semi-sneered and thought it was "yeah, yeah, not bad".

For 2017 I said I wanted to stop and reevaluate as I go, so that my months don't feel like it zooms past me. I didn't write much for January, but I did do a lot of things. So, in addition to all the things I've already written about in the past few weeks, other significant things in January include:

1. Life administration - getting my taxes done.

2. Enjoying summer - went to the South Melbourne night market, and Shimmerlands at Melbourne University.

3. Nurturing friendships - KIND OF. I went for a 10-year-graduation-anniversary picnic with a couple of people from med school. There is one person that can be quite insensitive, and over the years we have drifted apart which has made my life much better. I thought he might have changed, but nooooo at the picnic he still managed to say something mean (by singling me out as one who's "still" unmarried - how is this an okay thing to do?!). There was also Chinese New Year celebrations which coincided with a friend's son's (Eddie) birthday, he turned 2.

4. Appreciating beauty - I watched Yves Saint Laurent the movie, starring Pierre somebody. Not the Gaspar Ulliel one. That was a nice one. Sadly I can't think of any other times I tried to inject more beauty into my life, apart from ensuring I am groomed each day. Hmmmm something to fix for February, maybe.

5. Living well - I went back for some yoga classes, although I haven't been back since last week. I also semi-picked up running again after purchasing a new sports bra in my ever changing boob size. After skirting around and avoiding the "specialist bras" brand (more out of my own denial), I sneaked a peak at Freya's bras. My bra size is now more like an aeroplane seat number, and this means I am forever condemned to ugly bra section. Sorry, I know it's not ugly per se, but you know, I very much veer towards the romantic and 30H is not romantic. It feels so GOOD to have my boobs properly encased though.

6. Eating well - so I'm vego/vegan for maybe 5 days of a week. I no longer buy cheese, milk or eggs. I think that's where my cholesterol comes from. Not that it's very high, but you know. I still eat meat but I try to make most of my meals vego. I bought tofu for the first time! On my own accord! I've replaced my usual full cream milk with soy milk (almond milk does NOT go well with coffee). I've replaced my usual feta-on-toast with olives. I even made a vegan version of my sweet potato muffins, without eggs or yoghurt (it tastes mostly of tofu and flour, but I douse it with Tabasco so it's ok).

Despite #5 and #6 I have not lost any weight, because I am still eating ice-cream, cakes and desserts - HONESTLY it was because I forgot I was trying to not have dairy.

That's all I can be bothered to write about for January.

February should be good. Frenchie is coming in 9 days!

nice things

So in an effort to inject more beauty in my life, this past couple of weekends I have:

1. Visited the Viktor and Rolf exhibition at NGV - it's quite weird, but I suppose that's what V&R's style is. Avant-garde and rather puzzling. Not really sure whether this is fashion or art, or whether it is art at all.

2. Watched La La Land - what a cute, whimsical, beautiful movie! I don't think Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone were the best people to play it though. They can't really sing. My brother (who dances for performances and competitions) said their dancing was not bad, "seeing as they're not dancers".

3. Had a potluck reunion for Matthias' and Anna's visit - they are friends who went to Germany about 3 years ago now, and they came back to Australia for a holiday. It was good fun, especially playing with the little Japanese Spitz Watson, and two little kiddies. I brought some Peppa Pig toys, so yeah I was the favourite aunt.

4. Vegetarian dinner with Ashani, Gene and Catherine - we all work in the same specialty field in medicine, and sometimes you end up being good friends! We had a nice long catchup, and my curry ended up being just vegetable curry with no mock meat detectable.

5. Yoga - the heating system was broken, and it was only for 1 hour, so it wasn't quite the Bikram Yoga that I was used to. Melissa suggested I went along and yeah, I'm glad I did, in a way.

6. Visited South Melbourne Market - I love this market, even if it's not the cheapest place to buy groceries. I like it for the great croissants they have at Agathe's, and Frenchie and I always go there when he's in town.

Today I stayed at home, when most people would have returned from holidays and back to work today. I dunno, I couldn't wake up early, and I didn't have any patients scheduled. So I've used today to send some important emails, clean up my wardrobe, plan Frenchie's week here in February, and I'm probably gonna scrub myself up real good and MAYBE go for a walk later.

It's a new year!

Happy 2017 everybody! New LJ icon! Eiffel Tower with cherry blossoms because (a) it's pink, (b) it's a great symbol of fusing two cultures, and (c) it's time to veer away from my usual teddy bear icons. I'm a grown-up, I promise.

After bludging for the past couple of weeks and letting my brain go to mush, I returned to work today and felt much more productive. With that good start, I'm having a good feeling for 2017. I want to experience that happiness and freedom again, the feelings that I had in 2015 because it was a new time in my life (switching over from full time hospital work to doing a PhD), and I was doing a lot of new things.

So how do I plan to cultivate this for my 2017?

1. Be more consistent at writing for my thesis - I wrote a bit more for my review today, and it felt good to be putting some work into it. Last year I did a lot of work-work, i.e. meeting patients, collecting data, etc. that I did not have time put aside to just sit down and write.

2. Look good - part of why 2015 was so great was that I got back to exercising, I lost a lot of weight (i.e. went back to my usual weight and then some), and I rejigged my wardrobe. When you look fantastic, you feel fantastic, and then you look even more fantastic, and then you feel extra fantastic, etc. Whilst I've stopped exercise, regained some of that weight, and have no solid plan on taking up running or yoga again, I've reincorporated colours & floral patterns back into my wardrobe - my original love!

3. Enjoy the summer - it's easy to be cheery when the weather is cheery too. That said, I don't fare well in the heat. Summer weather does mean lots more activity around town though. For the past few months I'd only been planning and looking up things for when Frenchie is here (he's coming in February), ignoring activities outside of that. I should do things for me, with my friends!

4. Appreciate beauty - turn on the music at home (I only seem to do so in the car). Savour my chocolates. Go to the arts - can't wait for the Dior exhibition to hit Melbourne later this year! Go to the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. Catch a gig if anyone good is playing. Remember to wear my perfume.

5. Stop and reevaluate - instead of letting the year zoom past like I did in 2016, I will try to sit down every month? 3 months? and look at whether I'm heading in the right direction of how I want my year to be.

Yeah. I think that would be a good few ways to start looking up again for 2017!



soft eiffel
I am the potter, you are the clay.

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